Faith Under Fire; Betrayed by a Thing Called Love: by LaJoyce Brookshire
This is an excellent book for all women of God whom desire to get married. I am posting these 201 questions that should be asked when a potential spouse is in your sight. Please know that these questions are by the author of the book mentioned above. I, however do not condone pre-marital sex. I believe that only a man whom was born a man, and a woman, whom was born a woman, that are joined together with Gods' permission and under the leading of godly men and women of God in council and prayer, should be the ONLY people having sex. This list is a great tool to weed out those whom are trying to manipulate you into getting into a relationship with them pre-maturely. Please pray and ask the Holy Spirit for discernment when getting into a relationship. In addition to getting to know a person, also make sure, you yourself are a whole single person as well. Make sure you are ready to live a life that considers someone else above yourself. If you aren't ready for that, then you are better off living a single life for God and being about your Fathers' business.
This book is a great read about a woman whom gets caught in her feelings for a man that God never intended for her to be with. He was easy on eyes but harbored a deep dark secret of being on the DL and living with AIDS. All the signs were ignored and the woman whom was but surely doomed to get this death sentence was spared by the grace and mercies of God. I recommend this book to all the women whom are afraid to ask questions and dig into the lives of the men who refuse to be honest while dating. After reading this book, you will be blessed with Holy Boldness, the boldness that just may save your life! Enjoy these questions and take heed.
1. Have you been tested for HIV?
2. What is your status?
3. Will you take an HIV test with me?
4. Would you mind if I watch your blood drawn? I don’t mind if you watch mine being drawn.
5. Will you allow me to hear your result? I don’t mind if you hear mine. (If the answer is no, run!)
6. Are you willing to wait to become intimate three months after taking the HIV test to take another test? (This gives you time to actually ask all of these questions and to build a friendship and a relationship. Then, who knows? You may actually find out you really like him or her— or not.)
7. How much time do you think should pass before becoming sexually intimate?
8. How do you feel about abstinence?
9. When was your last intimate encounter?
10. How do you feel about condom use?
11. Are you willing to use a condom? (Remember what I said about trying to combat HIV with a rubber device! After you complete your discovery about the person— then and only then— do I recommend a condom as a precautionary measure if you must engage in sex.)
12. When was your last relationship?
13. Are you still searching for your soul mate?
14. Do you believe that there is a soul mate for everyone?
15. Have you ever been in love?
16. When you were younger, did you experience puppy love?
17. Was your last relationship a sexual fling or something serious?
18. What ended the relationship?
19. Do you think men and women can be friends once their relationship is over?
20. Do you believe in having a monogamous relationship?
21. Do you believe in celibacy?
22. Do you date around?
23. Do you believe in casual sex?
24. How many people have you dated at once?
25. Do you think that humans need companionship in order to survive?
26. What do you consider physical intimacy?
27. Have you ever dated interracially?
28. What do you think of interracial dating?
29. Have you dated someone older than you?
30. By how many years?
31. Have you dated someone younger than you?
32. By how many years?
33. In your relationships, do you communicate well?
34. Have you ever had a same-sex encounter?
35. Have you ever kicked it with your boys? (This is new terminology for men who have sex with other men and who refuse to say they are bisexual. Don’t ever say homosexual, because brothers on the down low feel like homo is a dirty word. Ask it boldly, because now you know, too.) If he/ she answers yes to the bisexual issue:
36. Are you praying for deliverance and is this a challenge you are trying to overcome?
37. Do you support the homosexual lifestyle?
38. Do you support gay marriages?
39. Are you a Christian?
40. Are you saved?
41. Do you pray?
42. Where do you go to church?
43. Who is Lord of your life? (If you are living a life walking with the Lord Jesus Christ, this is where you and he/ she may part company.)
44. How did you choose your religion?
45. What is your greatest testimony?
46. Should everyone have a religious belief?
47. What defines a hypocrite?
48. Do you believe in life after death?
49. If you were to die today, would you enter Heaven or Hell?
50. Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?
51. Are your personal affairs in order?
52. Do you have life insurance?
53. What would people say about you at your funeral?
54. What song do you want sung at your funeral service that defines your life?
55. Has your life been a blessing or a curse?
56. Have you been a blessing to other people?
57. Do you believe in blessing strangers?
58. Do you practice the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you?
59. Do you believe in karma?
60. Where are you from?
61. How were you raised?
62. Tell me about your family?
63. What kind of relationship do you have with your mother? (This is very important! Hang around for a while to watch this play out. This is the telling moment.)
64. What kind of relationship do you have with your father?
65. What did your mother or father always tell you that you found out for yourself to be true?
66. What kind of relationship do you have with your brothers and sisters?
67. Do you have a best friend?
68. What is your definition of a friend? Are you married? (I know this seems very basic, but women and men are entering into relationships with a married person simply because they have never asked. Ask!)
69. Have you ever been married? (If yes)
70. What type of relationship do you have with your ex?
71. Why did you get divorced?
72. Did you ever cheat on your spouse?
73. Have you ever hit a woman or a man?
74. Do you think it is okay to hit a woman?
75. Do you have children?
76. (If yes) Are you diligent with your child support?
77. Would you like to have more children?
78. Are you able to have more children?
79. Do you have baby mama drama? (Don’t laugh. If you hang around long enough, this will be important to you.)
80. Do you have a pet?
81. Are you happy?
82. What would you do to be happier?
83. Where would you go to be happier?
84. What type of work do you do?
85. Do you enjoy your work?
86. Who is your professional mentor?
87. What do you think is your life’s assignment?
88. Do you have any plans to accomplish this assignment?
89. What is your time line?
90. Are you scared or excited about your new plans?
91. Do you have professional guidance in the execution of your new plans?
92. Do you like to travel?
93. Do you take vacations?
94. What is your favorite vacation destination?
95. Have you traveled to Europe, Africa, or Asia?
96. Do you speak any foreign languages?
97. What do you think about the immigration issue in America?
98. Do you celebrate holidays in a big way or do they just come and go?
99. Do you need an alarm clock to wake up?
100. What is your morning ritual?
101. What is your educational background?
102. How important is education to you?
103. Did you like school?
104. Did you get good grades?
105. Do you have any health challenges?
106. Do you take medication?
107. (If yes) For what and for how long?
108. Do you follow your doctor’s advice?
109. What are you doing to correct this health challenge?
110. Are you willing to make sacrifices to have no health challenges?
111. Are you a healthy eater?
112. Do you cook?
113. Do you like ice cream?
114. What are your favorite foods?
115. What is your favorite restaurant?
116. How often do you eat out?
117. Do you exercise?
118. Are you athletic?
119. What is your favorite sport?
120. What is your favorite team?
121. Do you get annual checkups?
122. Have you had a prostate exam or a mammogram?
123. Are you a workaholic?
124. Do you stress easily?
125. Do you care what other people say about you?
126. How do you think other people view you?
127. Do you gossip?
128. Do you tell the truth no matter what, even if it hurts someone’s feelings?
129. Are there any secrets that you will carry to your grave?
130. Have you been to jail?
131. Do you think that incarceration is the answer to the ills of our society?
132. What ill of our society would you choose to eliminate?
133. What do you think is causing us the most trouble as Americans today?
134. Do you vote?
135. Are you Republican, Democrat, or Independent, and why?
136. Is there any cause that you wholeheartedly support?
137. Do you believe we have a responsibility to the planet?
138. Do you like to go out?
139. Do you drink?
140. (If yes) Is drinking a problem for you?
141. Do you do drugs?
142. Do you smoke?
143. What are your favorite places to go for fun?
144. What do you consider fun?
145. How do you relax?
146. How do you feel about attending formals?
147. Do you own a tuxedo or a gown?
148. Do you have a dress suit?
149. What entertainment genre most affects our society?
150. What do you consider beautiful?
151. Is your culture important to you?
152. What do you do to celebrate your culture?
153. Do you drive? (In New York City, I’ve met more people who don’t drive, especially men, than I’ve encountered anywhere else.)
154. Do you have a car? Do you own a home?
155. Do you have good credit?
156. Is it important to date a person of equal earnings?
157. Have you ever filed for bankruptcy?
158. What are your financial goals for yourself?
159. Do you want to retire wealthy?
160. Do you live for the moment or from check to check?
161. Do you save money?
162. What do you spend the most money on?
163. What is your largest monthly expense?
164. Do you think there is such a thing as being too rich?
165. What tempts you the most?
166. Are there any obstacles that may prohibit you from reaching your goals?
167. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
168. What was your most embarrassing moment?
169. What is your most important life’s achievement?
170. Do you like to read?
171. What is your favorite book?
172. What is your most memorable moment?
173. What was your most frightening moment?
174. Is it important for others to know you are successful?
175. Do you feel you have to keep up with the Joneses?
176. Are you forgiving?
177. Do you have terms for forgiveness?
178. Do you love unconditionally?
179. Do you leave room for others to make mistakes?
180. Is it easy for you to apologize?
181. Is it easy for you to accept apologies?
182. Do you forgive and forget?
183. What is your favorite movie?
184. Who is your favorite movie star?
185. What is your favorite song?
186. Who is your favorite artist?
187. What is on your CD player at home right now?
188. Where do you see yourself settling down: city, suburbs, or a rural town?
189. What season do you enjoy the most?
190. How are you most misunderstood?
191. Are you competitive?
192. If you could address an audience of 10,000 people tomorrow, what topic would you choose?
193. Who is the role model in your life?
194. Do you hang out a lot with your friends?
195. What do you and your friends like to do most?
196. Do you have a standing date or an annual jaunt with friends?
197. What do you never leave the house without?
198. In whom do you confide?
199. To whom are you accountable?
200. If you could let go of one thing in your life, what would it be?
201. If you were a pastor, what sermon would you preach?
Brookshire, LaJoyce. Faith Under Fire: Betrayed by a Thing Called Love (pp. 211-220). Gallery Books/Karen Hunter Publishing. Kindle Edition.
