Say No to Suicide!
So many depressed and oppressed people in the world have turned to suicide as the answer and solution because they feel hopeless. I know that when God gives me something to write, it can shift the very mindsets and atmosphere of those assigned to the words by His power and the anointing. I was blessed to be partnered with a Non-profit 501c3 organization called the R.E.E.C.H. Project, which participates heavily in projects geared towards suicide prevention. I wrote this poem, "Am I the Face of Suicide" for this organization as a tool to break suicide off of all those who read or listen to this poem. I pray these words penetrate the soul and bring deliverance to those who are silently suffering with thoughts of suicide.
-LA. Holts
Am I the face of suicide?
The faces of my pain seem to change with circumstances that have gotten me undone
So I watch my feet in obscurity trying to run
I whisper silent prayers for my daughters and my son
Am I the face of suicide can't I be inspired?
I wake up to this darkness in the daytime thinking this must be how I'm wired
I'm tired
I want to run through the lilies with not a care in the world
I want to smell the roses and play dress up like I did when I was a little girl
But when I reach out shards of glass cut me
Feels like I'm held down by dark clouds no matter how much I want to be free
Am I the face of suicide is this real?
It can't be
It's like I taste the bile of my life on the tip on my soul
Like demons are screaming in my ears and it's taken its toll
I feel I have no worth my insecurities nip at my heels
The rejection from my past sits on the edge on my bed at night and taunts me still
The abandonment of my father has given me a weak disposition.
I want to sing and break free from this but can't grab hold of the right version of my life, it's always the wrong rendition
My associates are buried in their own lives I'm in your face and you still can't see me
Your words your prayers your smile your care could reach down this dark hole and free me
Like I'm trapped in a cage that I've outgrown it hurts above around and beneath me
It's got spikes
And blood
And rocks
And cliffs
And no sunlight to find me spiritually
Am I the face of suicide
When I look at myself I cringe
I feel like Phyllis Hyman searching for an
old friend it's so nice to feel you hold me again
Like Robin Williams my smiles have been empty
This cement has got me.
Hell has trapped me.
I want to wake up now pinch me slap me
Am I the face of suicide
But I don't have to be
The remnants of my past have been cast away from me
The dark clouds have been chained and thrown down see
My life is worth the living cause someone greater lives inside of me
So He stopped the invasion of my soul and took back my kingdom authority
I walk in my purpose and give credit to
The creator of all things
That depression was my anger turned inward cause of myself I was thinking of too highly
I didn't cast my cares upon Him for he cares for me
I tried to carry the heavy burden of unforgiveness instead of passing it to my king.
He said I have power and dominion over every evil thing
So who am I to walk around on the earth not being free
I decree and declare this old man has died and I am now who He has made me
Because he has canceled the plans of satan in my life that dark cloud has floated past me
I dodged the grips of hades
Cause my King had all three keys
Hell, death and grave can no longer claim me
Because I am no longer isolated in that pain
The kingdom of God has swallowed me
Once I was out there drowning in misery
But now mine eyes have been opened and I realized I am a spirit being
This life I have I've surrendered to Him so He is obligated to take care of me
This flesh that has dressed me is my earth suite and now I know it's temporary
But how I live and give all to him is worth more than everything
He takes our pain cause He coped with it on the cross and defeated every enemy
I was the face of suicide but no more I've turned the other cheek
I'm clothed in righteousness bath in His presence covered in His grace so satan can't even find me.
Spirit of suicide I call you out and cast you down under my feet
Every void in your life I feel with hope, I feel with love and the joy of the Lord you see
No more wallowing in self pity
No more thinking on negative things
Let me give you some Godly wisdom
Listen to these kingdom keys
No more speaking death over your situation
Say what God has told you to say
No more dreading waking up
Get up and declare it a great day
No more sitting in the dark when you can turn the lights on
No more sad sake music only play life and worship songs
Call those things that be not as though they were the power of life and death lies in your tongue
And faith without works is dead so I advise you to pray to the Father and get some
Stop worrying about things that you yourself can't change.
Those suicidal thoughts were demonic attacks on your brain, just mind games.
We are called to cast down every ungodly imagination that parades around as a high thing.
get rid of every thing that separates you from the Father
So that only the Kingdom remains.
I dispatch the heavenly host right now to fight the enemy decapitate
The kingdom of God has arrived with the power from on high and my Daddy has sent me on a mandate.
Every unclean spirit with no legal right, get out walk through a dry place
Spirit of death I call you out for the kingdom this territory I claim.
L.A. Holts
If you are having thought of suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK(8255)
for more information about the R.E.E.C.H. Project, or if you would like to donate visit: www.thereechproject.org founder Michelamon'e Henderson
